the verse is "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
ohhhhh my goodness does this verse bring me comfort! it is sorta unfortunate that this verse has become so cliche and everyone slaps this on your card for graduation. i remember glancing at that verse like over 15 times and being like "yeah, sweet, God has got a plan" but then searching to see how much aunt laurie or neighbor dave put down for the check amount. as sad as this is, you (everyone who has graduated high school) KNOW its true. all graduating kids want is money...which will probably unfortunately go to a late night feast at herbs and gerbs or a parking ticket or a new lanyard sporting their university. haha, we waste money on such stupid things!
anyways! so this awesome verse...seriously can i just say how incredibly comforting this is!! God is straight up saying..."hey so i have your whole life planned out and even better, the way i have it all planned out will rock your world and you will love it and it will bring you everything you need, and i promise that my plan wont hurt you or disappoint you like everything else in this world. and this plan i have should give you hope, this plan sets your future up. this plan will honor me and give you a future. this plan is designed for YOU, no one else. i hand made this plan perfectly to fit you and your talents and desires and it will be GREAT!"
i am so excited to see how God uses me. i want soo badly to know this whole plan he has for me and my life. if you know me well enough, i really am a chill person in the moment of things and can be spontaneous BUT i really like to know the future. i am terrified of the unknown. i always want to make sure i am safe and happy. i want to avoid difficult situations. i like to have this picture-perfect plan in my head of what my perfect future will be like. and up until this semester, i always had some sort of plan to rely on to keep me going. God took that all away this semester and left me with a blank slate for what would happen next. AHHHHHHHH!! well i had a melt down...or maybe two...or three lol. it hasn't been fun but oh my has it been eye opening!
let me be clear for a sec though...i try to keep these blogs pretty light hearted and silly but God really put this on my mind tonight and so i thought id share =)
so no plan. no plan. absolutely no plan! what the heck am i supposed to look forward to God??? then i tried to focus on just putting all my energy into plans for school, plans for my major, my education, my friends, a place next year, and just completely focusing on planning on getting comfortable in lil winona. could i say the word plan more? PLAN! ah so obnoxious! God was like oh no you dont little missy, stop making plans! so a huge plan for next year (living situation, people that id be living with) completely fell through. i was broken. so broken. once again, God took my attempted plan and threw it out the window. i started to get the hint and made a commitment to him to just surrender everything and let him do what he wants with my life. HOW REFRESHING!! a burden was definitely lifted and everything has been so much better since. it took me years to understand that this life i have...it is not mine to live. He gave me life and i am living it for him. it is not my life!! that may sound like im not free, but i am. =)
anyways, the one thing that is still really sticking with me is that fact that God is really showing me that he wants me somewhere else. winona is amazing but i dont feel like i belong here. its like i feel him pulling me somewhere else to serve him but i cant figure out where. as scary as it is, idk if school is what i should be doing either. i have no idea where my life is going, but for once i trust God and that my friends, feels great! the big question is whether i leave at semester or after this school year? that is my struggle...i thought id share to maybe get some feedback and if you are all so kind-some prayers! i feel as though fulfilling my purpose is elsewhere and i need to figure this out asap!
thanks for reading such a long blog...seriously this will not happen often. i got a journal to write this stuff in lol but it would be nice to get some support in such a life changing decision.
thanksgiving break starts in less 48 hours! can i get a woot woot!
song of the day "beautiful"-phil wickham
peace
2 comments:
I think that the less you think about everything the easier it will come. Like you said God has it planned so until he tells you different you do what you are doing and try to make the best of it! Remember these are only a few years in the large picture. You have your whole life to live for God and serve Him!
Girl I feel you-
It is nice to know that God's got i covered, isn't it? For me an answer did not come until 2 or 3 weeks before the fall semester, so I can relate with the patience! Whatever answer comes, I hope you get the Peace that comes with realizing you re exactly where you should be.
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