Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Alllll The Way!

25 days until christmas!

25 days until christmas!

25 days until christmas!

hey guys, how many days until christmas??? 25!!! heehee. that is most definitely written on my white board on my dorm door, and it will be a countdown until the day of christmas, heck yes! I think this is the first year the weather worked out with holidays...for example...halloween night was absolutely gorgeous (even though i dont really participate in halloween, i was happy for all the girls here who got to wear absolutely nothing and not be freezin their booties off...so yay for them i guess lol) um the season of autumn was beautiful!!! the leaves stayed on the trees forever and didnt get blown away by the beastly winds, and most of the days were warm and i got to walk around the lakes here in "nona" A LOT! theennnn thanks giving rolled around not too long ago which rocked. can i just say that i love my two cousins sam and alex, sam is 15 and alex is 13. we played apples to apples and mad gab for hours!! unfortunately the food was not that great (yeah my mom made it, idk what happened lol, dont tell her!! usually she makes bomb food but it just didnt have that thanksgiving flavor and pizzaz!) AND there were no rolls!!!! i was sooo confused!! there was cinnamon bread but no homemade rolls or buns for later in the afternoon when you want to make lil sandwiches with the turkey and gravy. i was sad. i didnt even have leftovers the following day........not right, not right at all. ANYWAYS, the weather is what i was talking about. but the weather on thanksgiving was perfect too!! i hate when there is snow on the ground for thanksgiving, it feels too christmasyish (whaa? haha) it was perfect play football outside weather. just lovely =) the day after thanksgiving, a thought popped into my head "man it would be sweet if we got a big snowfall in the next couple of days to get us in the christmas mood faster!!" i wake up today to fresh snow! woohooo! it didnt snow a whole lot in hudson but i got back to winona today at about 4 and it was a winter wonderland!! all the trees are frosted and there is fresh white sparkly snow everywhere! i am pumed! God has blessed us with fantastic weather the past few months! love Him!

so with the new snow fall and a lot of excitement for 25 days from now, i am dedicating all my music listening to christmas music! well and some worship music because i cant get enough =) and if i get some time outside of hw and finals and crap, im going to watch christmas movies whenever i can (they have one every night on TV for the 25 days to christmas countdown, maybe ABC family??...idk check it out) ive already accomplished watching elf twice, polar express, and part of santa clause 2! and when i get home for break, oh my...cookies and cookies and more cookies will be made! anyone want to join??

im hoping to get creative this year and make gifts for all my beloved friends and rockin family. mostly because i want to do something different this year AND because i am broke as a joke. so we'll see how that goes. anyone got ideas for me??? if anyone knows me, i am not creative lol i am anti-scrapbooking to the max! anti-anything creative! not my skill. nope. so some suggestions would be lovely.

oh and id like to make a shout out to my sister Jana Kodesh who is the craziest christmas lady ever. she asked me what i wanted in like october and started decorating her place on november second....HAHA crazy! and i swear her and her hubby went ice skating like when there was only dirt, leaves, and mud on the ground...just to get into the christmas spirit? wow. gotta love em!

school is done in 2 weeks.....then christmas break! woot woot! enjoy the snow guys, get out there and throw some snowballs!

song of the day "God of this city"-Chris Tomlin

Peace

Jeremiah 29:11...Cliche Huh?

oh jeremiah 29:11...it seems that whenever us college kids are struggling with the annoying thought of what the heck we are going to do with our future, someone suggests jeremiah 29:11 to ease our frustration.

the verse is "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

ohhhhh my goodness does this verse bring me comfort! it is sorta unfortunate that this verse has become so cliche and everyone slaps this on your card for graduation. i remember glancing at that verse like over 15 times and being like "yeah, sweet, God has got a plan" but then searching to see how much aunt laurie or neighbor dave put down for the check amount. as sad as this is, you (everyone who has graduated high school) KNOW its true. all graduating kids want is money...which will probably unfortunately go to a late night feast at herbs and gerbs or a parking ticket or a new lanyard sporting their university. haha, we waste money on such stupid things!

anyways! so this awesome verse...seriously can i just say how incredibly comforting this is!! God is straight up saying..."hey so i have your whole life planned out and even better, the way i have it all planned out will rock your world and you will love it and it will bring you everything you need, and i promise that my plan wont hurt you or disappoint you like everything else in this world. and this plan i have should give you hope, this plan sets your future up. this plan will honor me and give you a future. this plan is designed for YOU, no one else. i hand made this plan perfectly to fit you and your talents and desires and it will be GREAT!"

i am so excited to see how God uses me. i want soo badly to know this whole plan he has for me and my life. if you know me well enough, i really am a chill person in the moment of things and can be spontaneous BUT i really like to know the future. i am terrified of the unknown. i always want to make sure i am safe and happy. i want to avoid difficult situations. i like to have this picture-perfect plan in my head of what my perfect future will be like. and up until this semester, i always had some sort of plan to rely on to keep me going. God took that all away this semester and left me with a blank slate for what would happen next. AHHHHHHHH!! well i had a melt down...or maybe two...or three lol. it hasn't been fun but oh my has it been eye opening!

let me be clear for a sec though...i try to keep these blogs pretty light hearted and silly but God really put this on my mind tonight and so i thought id share =)

so no plan. no plan. absolutely no plan! what the heck am i supposed to look forward to God??? then i tried to focus on just putting all my energy into plans for school, plans for my major, my education, my friends, a place next year, and just completely focusing on planning on getting comfortable in lil winona. could i say the word plan more? PLAN! ah so obnoxious! God was like oh no you dont little missy, stop making plans! so a huge plan for next year (living situation, people that id be living with) completely fell through. i was broken. so broken. once again, God took my attempted plan and threw it out the window. i started to get the hint and made a commitment to him to just surrender everything and let him do what he wants with my life. HOW REFRESHING!! a burden was definitely lifted and everything has been so much better since. it took me years to understand that this life i have...it is not mine to live. He gave me life and i am living it for him. it is not my life!! that may sound like im not free, but i am. =)

anyways, the one thing that is still really sticking with me is that fact that God is really showing me that he wants me somewhere else. winona is amazing but i dont feel like i belong here. its like i feel him pulling me somewhere else to serve him but i cant figure out where. as scary as it is, idk if school is what i should be doing either. i have no idea where my life is going, but for once i trust God and that my friends, feels great! the big question is whether i leave at semester or after this school year? that is my struggle...i thought id share to maybe get some feedback and if you are all so kind-some prayers! i feel as though fulfilling my purpose is elsewhere and i need to figure this out asap!

thanks for reading such a long blog...seriously this will not happen often. i got a journal to write this stuff in lol but it would be nice to get some support in such a life changing decision.

thanksgiving break starts in less 48 hours! can i get a woot woot!

song of the day "beautiful"-phil wickham

peace

Frickin Frick

today is one of those days where i dreaded it ever coming! stupid registration day!!!! i tossed and turned alllllll night, making myself sick just thinking about 2pm. 2pm. 2pm. how the heck did i get my registration window open at 2pm??? that is so late in the day. i had it all planned out, i would go to class from 9-12 and then just sit there and literally stare at my computer, stare at my desired schedule and hope for the best.

noon comes, i grabbed some food in the caf (yeah apparently its weird that we call it the caf here and not the cafeteria...someone who doesnt go to winona was honestly really weirded out and was grossed out because it sounds like a baby cow...wow dude get over it) and me and some friends headed back to my room. i seriously had like 3 friends there for me just for support. ha im lame. then we sit outside my room in the lounge and prepare to watch my classes disappear before my eyes! new groups of people register every half an hour so therefore i literally had to watch my classes just disappear for a whole hour before i registered.

130 comes around and my luck, random friends happen to stop by and out of no where there are like 15 people surrounding me! eating cupcakes, throwing balls or something, tackling each other....WHAT THE CRAP PEOPLE?!?! more than ever, i need peace and quiet and concentration and just to focus!! that would happen to me. seriously whenever i just want to be alone, or with a few people for something like really important, CROWDS show up and they do not leave!

anyways, i was trying to register for 5 classes so that i would have 15 credits...yada yada. with my major here, there are certain classes that i need to take! they only offer one class, one time, once a semester. are we in high school? yes, i guess so here at winona. lame. i always had these images of college in my head where there were 100's of classes and you got whatever you wanted....tralala happy place! not at all what i pictured. its like war here, everyone goes through depression of registration week. its really that miserable. so yes finally the rowdy crowd of randoms leave me alone and i frantically put together my like 4th schedule because all my first pick classes were gone. 1:55!!! it turned 1:55!!! everything was set, i was okay with the silly schedule i put together and just wanted to click the "register" button and get it over with!!

then crowd of randoms come charging back and one of the dudes starts to "choke" me!!!! GET OFF DUDE!!! do you not see i am trying to register here???? everyone fights him off me because they know the intense moment i am going through. then it turns into like a rant for me to register! everyone was screaming and yelling and all excited for the clock to turn 2. so i have around 5 people behind me cheering me on! haha, God is good...He sent me some encouragement. 1:59.....2!!!!!!!!!! i hit "register" and my computer freezes!!!! then after unfreezing, it says that all my classes have failed to register!! AHHHH! i was about to have a melt down, for real. i go back to my lil cart and reregister my classes again. doesnt work. i go back to the cart again, IT WORKED IT WORKED! so for about a good 7 minutes, i wanted to just like rip my hair out. one of those moments where your face turns bright read and you're all hot and angry and kind of want to cry. maybe even throw your computer at the wall. it was miserable!

after everything, i am okay with my spring semester. taking conflict and communication, physics-engery, professional communication skills, chemistry appreciation, and approaches to film. so i have a variety, i still might change it up. i never thought id be soo happy to NOT be a freshman. most of them have to wait until friday to register, sucky. oh the joys of being a saucy sophomore =) joy joy joy! so there was my day...well more like...there was my like 1 hour of hell! oh my goodness! hopefully everything will work out just fine.

i will leave you with a thought provoking question...

Can you describe your life with a six word sentence?

I would say mine for right now would be "I am seeking, I am finding"

ask me to know more if you would like....

peace

Am I Good At Writing?

ha, so my parents tell me i am good at writing. i highly doubt that. i find it to be easy to put something together at the last minute and add a lot of emotion to it and maybe even add some jazzy words and smooth transitions but it could never go anywhere.

anyways, so i have heard of blogging and all i have ever thought is WEIRD! haha! but then as i was facebook stalking on day (we all do it, come on now) i saw that a friend had a blog and i was interested so i checked it out and was really inspired that he found something he could just express his thoughts through. he obviously doesnt care if people really read it or get something out of it, or whatever! its something he can do for himself and if people want to read it, then sweet. so thanks for the idea friend (you know who you are) ive been looking for something like this for some time now. im excited to see what comes from blogging. haha i am a blogger!

so i am not going to waste time on using commas, or good grammar, or worrying about all the little stuff that my advanced expository writing professor would pick apart, but rather i am just going to pour my thoughts out on here for me. so its not about being a good writer, or trying to impress the small crowd out there with my thoughts related to this spiritual journey i am on, its just about expressing anything and everything! i absolutely love music and could only dream of expressing my feelings, ideas, and thoughts through lyrics along with a song on a guitar BUT until i learn how to play something or sing-i am stuck with a computer and my fingertips pouring out my thoughts. yay.

annnd lastly, my blog is called "myblackheels" because one thing about girls that is true, we love shoes! well most girls. whenever i find a pair of shoes that fit perfectly, don't cost a lot, and are absolutely gorgeous-i feel great!!! haha, i love a good pair of black heels, they go with anything! so when i get a new beautiful pair, i feel a lil happy inside, just how i am hoping to feel after blogging my thoughts that get sooo jumbled around in my head. im hoping that after i jot down a few paragraphs-ill feel that lil bit of happiness. some clarity. some relief. maybe a new outlook? who knows! so this blog is "myblackheels"-my happy place =)

Peace